First Day of School...Darn it, I missed the bus!

The first day of school has always been a very exciting time for me and I don't think I ever slept much the night before that day. I've always loved the chance to begin again each Fall with the hopes and promises that "this will be a great year and this time I'll do _______ differently." Of course, as a kid, I always knew that this would be the year that I would do all of my homework, finish all of my classwork, and would get straight A's and be the best student EVER! Again, every year, I'd slack off and fall short of my goal.

Laziness would set in and I would stop doing my work and then feel bad at school when the teacher asked for an assignment and I didn't have it. My grades would slide until I had to bring a report card home with C's and D's that inevitably said "Does not work to potential", with a "Talks too much in class" and "Doesn't use time wisely" thrown in for good measure. I'd get the lecture from Mom about being disappointed and that I had to do better. Eventually, I'd do just enough work to eek out a B and pass to the next class. In my senior year, I only needed one English credit to graduate and I was taking 2 English classes, plus a bunch of electives. 4 1/2 weeks until graduation and I was failing BOTH English classes because of missing assignments. I buckled down, studied hard, wrote 3 essays in a 45 minute study period block and got the highest grade in the class on the final exam, raising my grade from an F to a B and I walked across that stage with my Honor's tassel and got my diploma! Phew!

As a teacher, I always see the new school year as a new beginning. After tossing and turning the night before, I'd walk into my classroom, all shiny and clean, with papers and name tags on the desks and I'd smile, take a deep breath, and wait for the little faces that would walk through the door. The first day is always good with the kids all dressed up and on their best behavior. We go through all the rules and procedures and then get down to business. I LOVE this day!

Unfortunately, this year is bitter-sweet because I am missing it. I am happy because I got to experience it with my daughter. I got her up and dressed for the first day of second grade in her favorite pink dress and her brand new backpack with her name embroidered on it along with her favorite animal, a butterfly. I walked her to the bus stop and enjoyed the goodbye hug and kiss and watched her happily bounce onto the bus to sit among the smiling, happy faces that were looking at me from the windows. It was a great sight to see. However, I am a teacher with no classroom this year. No place to put my dry erase markers or hang my motivational posters. Nowhere to sharpen my pencil, grade my papers, or plan my lessons. I missed the bus and school started without me. How did this happen? It's all about money. Increased budget cuts and a plethora of applicants made it hard to find a job and I am not alone. Many of us who have experience (i.e. more expensive) have been left behind in lieu of straight-out-of-college newbies. We are sitting here, hoping that with higher attendance rates, schools will add positions and that we will be selected for the handful of remaining jobs that will be available. Hoping beyond hope that we can at least get a tardy pass and not have to miss out altogether. Until then, I will substitute teach and fill in the gaps for when the teacher can't be there and hope that next year will be better.

Regardless of my plight and my need to wallow in self-pity for a while, I wish all of my fellow teachers out there (both with and without classrooms) a happy First Day of School and I pray that all of your hopes and dreams for this year will come true!